How to be prepared to talk to a funeral home
What to expect, what to ask, and what decisions you'll need to make…
If someone you love is dying—or has just passed—and you need to make arrangements with a funeral home, we’re here to help.
We know it can feel overwhelming. You’re grieving, you’re under pressure, and now you’re being asked to make fast decisions about things you may not have thought about before: Burial or cremation? Do you want a viewing? What’s your budget?
It’s a lot. That’s why we’ve created this simple guide—to walk you through what to expect, what to bring with you, what questions to ask, and how to make choices that feel right for you and your family.
What a funeral home does (it's more than you think)
Funeral homes do much more than handle the burial or cremation. They’re there to care for the body, coordinate logistics, support grieving families, and help navigate local laws and paperwork.
Some of the key things a funeral home may help with:
Transporting the deceased (including if you choose another service provider for alternate burial/body disposition methods)
Preparing the body
Securing death certificates
Writing and placing obituaries
Coordinating services or ceremonies
Providing grief support or referrals
Handling permits and burial or cremation arrangements
Before you go: what you should know
You don't need to know everything. But walking in with a basic understanding can help you feel more calm, confident, and in control. Here are a few key things to keep in mind:
You don’t have to decide everything right away. A good funeral home will guide you step by step.
You have rights. Under the FTC's Funeral Rule, you have the right to choose only the services you want, to receive clear pricing up front, and to use a casket or urn you purchased elsewhere.
You can say no. You’re allowed to ask questions, push back on upsells, and take time to think.
What you'll talk about
Maybe your loved one laid out clear wishes for you, maybe they didn’t. Either way, here are the key topics most funeral directors will walk you through:
Disposition method: Burial, cremation, donation, or another option
Services: Will there be a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or none of the above?
Logistics: Where will your person be transported? Who will help shape the ceremony? Will there be an obituary, flowers, music, readings, or other personal touches?
Final resting place: Cemetery plot, urn, scattering location, etc.
What to bring with you
You won’t need every item on this list, but bringing what you can will make the meeting go more smoothly:
ID and Social Security number of the deceased
Birth and marriage certificates (if available)
Military discharge papers (DD-214) (if applicable)
Clothing for burial or cremation (if that’s something you want)
Insurance policy documents: Life or burial insurance policies may help cover funeral costs.
Pre-planning paperwork, if it exists—this could be:
A funeral pre-arrangement contract
Notes on their burial, cremation, or other body disposition preferences
Receipts for anything already paid for
A written list of wishes (even if it’s informal)
Questions to ask the funeral home
Asking a few critical questions can help you feel more informed:
What’s included in your basic service fee?
Can I see a full itemized price list?
Is embalming required?
Embalming is often optional, especially if you’re planning a direct cremation or burial without a public viewing. Some funeral homes may present it as standard, but it’s your choice—and it can add significant cost. Asking this upfront helps you understand your options and avoid paying for services you don’t need or want.
Are there any packages, and are they customizable?
What are my options for affordable caskets or urns?
You’re allowed to shop around. The FTC requires funeral homes to accept any casket or urn you purchase elsewhere—and they can’t charge you a fee for using it.)
Do you support alternative body disposition methods?
If you’re interested in something beyond traditional burial or cremation—like green burial, aquamation, natural organic reduction, or donation—it’s okay to ask. Not all funeral homes offer these options, but some can help you coordinate them.
Our take
There’s no one way to get this exactly right. But showing up with a few questions, a short list, and a sense of what matters most can make a tough moment feel a little more manageable.
Looking for support for end-of-life planning and after-death logistics? We’ve got you covered.
After Death Toolkit
If you’ve recently lost someone, our After Death Toolkit can help guide you through what happens next: from requesting death certificates and managing paperwork to handling logistics, closing accounts, and settling the estate.
Advance Planning Course
Our Advance Planning Course walks you through what to document ahead of time—so funeral home conversations (and everything else) are easier when the time comes.
